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| You’ve
probably heard of the term mid-life crisis that hits
adults 50 years and over, characterized sometimes
by stress, depression, feeling of hopelessness or
in some cases dressing like their younger counterparts.
However, another phenomenon has also been emerging
over the past few years but it appears to have hit
an entire different generation, those in their mid-20s
and early 30s |
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| If
you’re in your 20s or early 30s, have you experienced
the following symptoms in the past few months? |
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- Not being able to cope with the rapid changes
and experiencing feeling of helplessness
- Feeling lost as friends from school disperse
to establish their own paths in life
- The world appears unfamiliar as the structure
and stability of years in school is no longer
available and the work life has a new set of
unfamiliar rules
- A sense of disappointment the working experience
is not as exciting or glamorous
- A sense of uncertainty where life is heading
as there is no longer a daily timetable nor a
clear path paved out; not knowing where you will
be in five years time
- Feelings of anxiety as the choices you make
directly impacts your quality of life
- Not knowing how to deal with changing relationships;
you’re an adult like your parents and yet
they still treat you like a school kid or the
girlfriend/boyfriend is now a spouse
- Having peers or subordinates who are much
older to you and you’re not sure how to
interact with them.
- Feeling anxiety on whether you’ve made
the right career choice or should you follow
your passion
|
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| If
you’ve experienced the above symptoms, chances
are you’re experiencing Quarter-Life Crisis,
a term coined up by Abby Wilner and Catherine Stocker,
authors of “QuarterLife Crisis”and “The
Quarterlifer’s Companion”. |
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| If
left unattended, over a period of years, the quarterlifers
could experience increased stress, feeling uninterested
in pursuing excellence and in extreme cases, just
giving up on life and trudging along making ends
meet. |
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| Amy
(her name has been changed to protect her privacy)
was a good example of someone experiencing quarter-life
crisis. She was a top student at school and always
excelled in everything that she did at school. Even
when she started work, she excelled in all areas
and very quickly got the promotion she was aiming
for within the first 12 months on the job, which
most people achieved only after 24 months. When she
came to see me, she was uncertain if this was the
path she wanted to take as there were several other
offers coming her way. At the same time she was also
experiencing difficulty dealing with her parents
who continued to make decisions for her as they felt
they new best and that she was still young and at
work, she had co-workers who were 15 to 20 years
her senior and had very distinct working styles and
approach to problems. She felt that her life had
no meaning or direction. |
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| What can you do if you’re
experiencing quarter-life crisis? |
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| Life
Goal Clarity |
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| Just
like in primary school you set out goals on which
secondary school you wanted to go to, and then in
secondary school you decided what course you want
to take and then you devised plans to make the goals
happen, similarly you set out your life goals. |
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| Ask
yourself the following questions: |
- What is the kind of life I would like to
lead when I’m 70?
- Who are the people I would like to have
in my life when I’m 70?
- When I look back at my life at age 70, what
would be the defining moments, what would be
the events I recalled fondly and that I am
most proud of?
- What did I do right from my 20s that brought
me where I am at 70?
|
| What
are your Values? |
| While
doing the exercise above, you would find that driving
your actions is a set of values. Every individual
would have their own set of values that are derived
from their own notions of what is right or wrong
and their beliefs of how things should be. For example,
a person may value family time and design work-life
strategies that give them family time and this could
be derived from a belief the person has that family
has to be priority as they would always stick by
one another. |
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| As
you design the life you want, get clarity of your
values by answering the following questions: |
- What is important to me about work, family,
life, leisure, retirement?
- When I have (fill in what each of the above
gives you), what will it bring for me?
|
| Action
Plan |
| If
there is one thing we have learnt very well in school,
it is that nothing happens without action. So start
designing your Action Plan. |
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| To
help you design your Action Plan, ask yourself the
following questions: |
- What do I need to do for work, family, life,
leisure, retirement?
- What specific actions I would need to take
for each of the above?
- What is the time frame I need to put in place
so that I have clarity of when I need to complete
the tasks?
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| (ImportantNote:
The purpose of an Action Plan is to give you clarity
on the means of getting to the future. Many unforeseen
events at the personal, societal or global level
may occur that alter the path you had designed,
hence you need to have the flexibility to revise
your Action Plan to take into account the new circumstances.) |
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| Now
that the uncertainty in your life has a name, go
ahead and design the life that you want and become
the architect of your life. |
